March 2011
2 posts
Gums of Our Lives: Episode 14
This was the second time in the last two hours that Briadru4 and Thisismynightmare found themselves being forcibly taken to a destination that they had not intended to go to. In this instance they were being dragged along the ground in a large rope net; a considerable step down from the relatively luxurious rape van. Briadru4 began to take stock of the situation. They were most definitely trapped....
February 2011
4 posts
Gums of Our Lives: Episode 13
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
As the seconds counted down to their demise, Agent Cakeordeath couldn’t help but find the metronomic sound of their impending doom to be strangely hypnotic. She stared at the flashing red numbers, watching them change in rhythm.
“Snap out of it, Cake!”
Agent Huckabeast shook her out of her trance.
“We need a plan! Stat!”
“Oh, right. Uh. Let’s see…”
She began to go over the...
Gums of Our Lives: Episode 12
“So… do we have a plan?”
A Serious Monster was getting antsy. It had been several hours since she first made contact with the Hybrids, and all they had done up to this point was fiddle with dials and make horrible puns.
“Calm down, ok? We’re formulating a flan.” Facetaco said, glancing up from one of the computers.
“Mmmm. Delicious flan.” Polythene Pam piped up from behind a stack of...
Gums of Our Lives: Episode 11
Deep underground, beneath the headquarters of The Agency, Chris Trash was trying to entertain his hostages.
“Hey, now, buckaroos. Don’t you be being all sad with the sour pusses. Agent Cakeordeath will be returning very soon with my chip, and you all can be on your merry ways.”
Agent Huckabeast spat on the ground.
“She’ll never give you the chip, Trash. No matter what you do to us.”
Chris Trash...
Gums of Our Lives: Episode 10
Previously, on Gums of Our Lives:
“That’s what she said!” “Who ARE you?” What happened?” “WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US?????” “I work alone.” “Is it permanent, Dr. Doctor Girlfriend?” “Shut up.” “Oh, dear. This is a spot of bother.” “NOW!”
Before we continue with the story, it is necessary to explain a few things about the Winbot, and, in turn, his creator. When creating an artificial intelligence,...
January 2011
4 posts
Gums of Our Lives: Episode 9
As A Serious Monster followed Facetaco through the sewers she began to question the choices she had made in her life up to this point. Choices that lead to her following a man with a taco for a face through a sewer, trying to gather information to find the missing wife of a mad scientist. Perhaps I should have gone to law school, like my parents wanted she thought to herself.
Facetaco turned to...
Gums of Our Lives: Episode 8
Speeding down the street on his motorcycle, Just Desserts was talking to Paper Street Soap Company through the earpiece he had set up for him. “So, Papes, any idea where I can find Thisismynightmare? She needs my protection.”
“That’s what she said!” Paper Street blurted out on the other line.
“Ugh. This is no time for games. Someone’s life is in danger! The Winbot came to my house looking for...
Gums of Our Lives: Episode 7
Back in her office, A Serious Monster was poring over the research she had done on The Narrator while singing Kanye West’s “Monster.”
“Everybody know I’m A Serious Monster,” she rapped under her breath, and then smiled at how terribly clever her new lyrics were. She had been scouring the internet and making phone calls all day, and her eyes, neck, ears, wrists, and right shoulder were all dully...
Gums of Our Lives: Episode 6
Teacherman stumbled through the front door. He managed to cough a strangled “Help me,” as he collapsed into The Kelburrows’ arms. In response, she screamed. The other girls quickly ran to the entranceway. “What the hell is going on?” BabyFriday began to demand in the nicest way possible, but stopped as soon as she saw the tableau in front of her. “T—Teacherman?” She stammered, before fainting....
December 2010
3 posts
Gums Of Our Lives: Episode 5
Just Desserts pulled up in front of a dilapidated house on an otherwise barren road. He walked up the overgrown path and reached the front door. Above it read “1537.” He tried the bell, but heard no sound, so he knocked on the door. He heard shuffling and banging from deep within the house, then a series of large, imposing footsteps as they reached the door.
“What’s the password?” Growled a voice...
Gums of Our Lives: Episode 4
As it seems like it always does during funerals, it was raining on the day of Teacherman’s. BabyFriday and Thisismynightmare huddled under an umbrella as the preacher stood in front of the gravesite. “Hello,” he began. “For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Father Mans. I have had the privilege of knowing Teacherman for many years. He was a brilliant scientist, a devoted husband, and a...
Gums of Our Lives: Episode 3
This episode is brought to you by Fallout: New Vegas
Just Desserts was blasting Tag Team as he worked, readying his apartment. Thisismynightmare was coming! Everything must be perfect. His couch was freshly fluffed and his argyle cardigan freshly ironed. Adjusting his sunglasses in the mirror he smiled to himself. “Party people! Yeeeeeeeah!” he shouted to the heavens. He looked down at his watch....
November 2010
4 posts
Gums Of Our Lives: Episode 2
It was 3:00 and Doctor Principal Enchman was beginning to worry. Thisismynightmare was supposed to be there for her appointment over two hours ago. He had tried her phone several times, but it went straight to voicemail. “Something’s wrong,” he thought to himself. “Thisismynightmare is never late without calling first.” He pressed the intercom on his desk.
“An American Patriot. I need you to...
“My Bush”
This is a song about the...
We Monsters. ‘Nuff Said.
Gums Of Our Lives: Episode 1
It was a cold December night, and The Narrator was busy in his laboratory. He laughed to himself as he bent over his machine. “Reckless?” he cackled to himself. “Irresponsible? I’ll show them reckless and irresponsible!” He wiped the fevered sweat from his brow as he checked the time. “Only minutes left, my pretty, and the world will truly know my greatness!”
Meanwhile, across town, his wife,...